Perhaps no other word has been the aim of countless people over time. We seek
equilibrium, and we know deep within when our lives are off-kilter. It seems that knowing we need to recalibrate spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically would involve taking the necessary steps. This isn’t the case often, is it? We know, but that doesn’t mean we act. In fact, in most cases, we are afraid to act and claim ignorance. When, in fact, we are stalling or avoiding. We sense the imbalance, yet we are stuck, unable to move ahead. In other cases, we avoid the matter altogether to get through our day.
Why is balance so vital to our sense of well-being? How can balance be achieved and
managed? Are there any simple steps we can take in our daily lives to make balance
sustainable? This article addresses all three questions. There are multiple ways to answer these questions. Still, the need to make spiritual practice practical is as necessary as making balance a reality in our lives, rather than an aspiration.
Balance can be expressed as the ability to find inner harmony despite the apparent
changes and flux we live in. Balance can also be understood to mean flowing with these very same uncertain conditions – those of change and uncertainty. Balance ensures that we are not pulled back to the past or thwarted without wisdom into the future. In either case, we will fall.
Balance means walking in the present, focused on the ends we have set for ourselves, and
trusting and having faith in ourselves to achieve and live into a new life. Pride is an incredible impediment to balance. Pride makes us question our competence when we exercise common sense. Pride coerces us into believing that all successful individuals
on this planet did it alone. So, on the one hand, to be adequate, we cannot ask for help. On the other hand, asking for help demonstrates our inadequacy. Pride isolates us from others and from ourselves. Under these conditions, balance is impossible. The stress and anxiety consume us and leaves us unstable and unable to cope – hence, off-balance.
The nature of this inner dissonance is caused by the ego. The ego can be swayed entirely
by the desires we entertain and by the neurotic preoccupation with being right and perfect. The “I” when interjected into any situation causes judgment. These judgments are the result of preconceived expectations, erroneous views, and prejudices that we have about ourselves, and about what should be, and why it needs to be as the ego conceived it to be.
Rather than seeing a situation we need help with as an opportunity to grow and resolve
what needs to be resolved, we are preoccupied with how inadequate we are. Contentment is crucial in our lives. It is an entirely different narrative from being able to manage everything on our own and not needing anyone to help us along the way. This is a disguised use of control. Control prevents true balance and harmony, as it is used to cause outcomes that are more often than not, detrimental to us and not in our best interest or well-being. Content affords us the freedom to enjoy the company and the assistance of others. This encourages inner balance and healthier relationships as we grow in humility (the counterweight to pride) and empathy (the counterweight to alienation).
Stability is a cherished virtue across monastic traditions worldwide. It is a practice that
promotes balance and consistency. Consistency deepens spiritual practices and the disciplines that will ultimately become habits of the heart. No process where changes to our present patterns of thought and action are ever easy to unlearn. Consistency in practice, in being patient with oneself, and in acknowledging life-affirming thoughts and behaviors is difficult to sustain, but it IS sustainable.
Stability represents resilience, as well. Another way of looking at resilience is the ability
to respond effectively to or cope with stressful situations. One can resume one’s sense of
balance despite being pushed off for a brief period. Resilience, of course, is learned. This means being unwavering in investing time in oneself and seeing it as worthwhile and deserving. Unless one is aware of the inner worth each person possesses, it is difficult to see the depositing of time and energy in oneself as valuable time as well spent.
Balance is possible when stability exists in one’s life. When out-of-balance, resilience
brings us back into equilibrium, and we can move on. Resilience isn’t a shot in the dark, or luck. It just happens. It is a psychological tool available to anyone willing to do the hard work of transforming their mind, feelings, and actions. This is particularly true when you don’t feel hopeful or when things are genuinely overwhelming. As we do, despite occasions where we may feel almost ready to quit. It is the practice that nourishes the resilience within us. This will lead to the stability we need to bring balance back into our lives.
When we seek a positive outlook, our lives enter a space (and our minds a headspace)
conducive to many good things happening. Why? As we broaden our vision and see through the lens of optimism, we find solutions and interpretations that seemed unreal or impossible to us.
As soon as they become available, we can claim them for ourselves, as they are now a real,
attainable option for us. When anxiety and pessimism prevail, options are limited experiences and superficial. We are unable to be genuinely present because we avoid. Consequently, we are already looking to the next thing, rooted in instability and fear.
Maintaining balance is difficult. It is much easier to give up on the safeguards and the
consistent practice of resilience. It is easier to avoid. Therefore, asking for help is essential.
Help can take the form of financial planning, therapy, starting an exercise routine, seeking help for an addiction, improving study habits, establishing boundaries, changing your circle of friends, getting help with anger, seeking forgiveness, or going back to school. However, the balance begins when problems seem manageable. Because we believe we deserve true change, which makes the hope of overcoming the present situation attainable and tangible.
A problem is defined as anything that does not have an evident solution. When we
cannot see the evident solution, we believe it is insurmountable. A catastrophic game-changer in our aspiration to sustain balance in our lives. A change in our narrative and the perspectives we entertain will go a long way. If the problem exists, there is also a solution. Let it begin with us – within each of us, to embrace the resolve to practice the safeguards, and to be consistent in them. As we see ourselves transform, so will be where we look for evidence of resolution – and it is usually found within.
